toblameforit | (no subject)

Cal is all too glad to take the chance to openly give Stane a little shit himself. Tony will just think he's sticking up for Sherlock.

Which - he is.

"Seriously," he says. "Do you even know how it sounds to listen to a grown man go after a seventeen-year-old?"

He doesn't actually say "pathetic," but he doesn't think he has to.

"I'm sorry," he says humbly. "That was out of line."

Tony's expression softens. "It's okay, man. It's just—I don't know what it is about him that turns you into a raging asshole."

Cal has his theories.

He doesn't share any of them.

Cal is such a helpful and generous young man.

And Tony just lost at Tetris.

Cal decides not to take credit for that. He is not about to set up an opportunity to Stane to evoke some sort of fake alliance that bonds them together or anything like that.

Instead, he ignores Stane'a apology to ask Tony,

"Did he tell you when he'd be coming back?"

"Nope. It was pretty much, 'bye, I'm fucking off to New York,' and out the door."

Cal snorts a little.

"Yeah, that's what I figured. Thought I'd ask anyway."

"I don't think he even knows. He'll probably just show up back here in a few days and complain about what I did to his poor kitchen."

"Serves him right."

Cal thinks about Sherlock examining that stretch of road, and hopes that complaints about the kitchen are the only thing he'll have to upset Tony with when he comes back.

He wouldn't bet on it, though.

"Yep. I mean, what's he doing flying across the country and leaving me to make my own breakfast?"

"Is he your brother or your wife?" Obadiah asks dryly.

Tony makes a face, but he can't help snickering.

Again, a reasonably funny comment, but this time Cal doesn't react, instead saying to Tony,

"Maybe he's testing me. Maybe part of fake Watson's job is to make sure you don't starve after you destroy all the Pop Tarts."

"You know, that actually does sound like Sherry."

Unfortunately, Cal is still not familiar enough with the Holmes mythos to be able to make a crack about Mycroft Holmes being able to take of himself just fine, thanks, so instead he settles for laughing and saying,

"Okay, fine. But just breakfast. I know you're capable of ordering a pizza all by yourself."

"Man, don't even remind me. I promised him I wouldn't drive out for pizza until he got back."

"I don't see why not," says Obadiah. "I know I always disagree with him, but I really think he's overreacting." He smiles at Tony. "Howard's little boy can take care of himself."

Gross. Gross. Gross. Cal doesn't even know where to start with everything that was wrong with that, so when he speaks, the glance he gives Stane is a little more pointed than he'd intended.

"Yeah, well, I don't think Sherlock would forgive me if I let someone try to kill you on my watch, so."

Tony laughs. "Oh my God, you are his Watson."

Cal forces himself to get back on track, to keep it light, and puts on a wry grin.

"Yeah, I pretty much gave up fighting that."

Obadiah doesn't say anything; he just shakes his head.

Which leaves Cal free to ignore the shit out of him.

(When he does eventually have to leave, he is getting right into the shower when he gets home.)

Tony gives Obie a look, but doesn't reproach him out loud. No need to start shit.

"Anyway," he says to Cal, "I wouldn't put it past him to have predicted this whole conversation, I mean I guess minus Obie 'cause he didn't know Obie was coming, and figured you'd keep me honest. Devious little shit."